How I Can Help Make the World Great (chapter)

How I Can Help Make the World Great is a chapter in When the Cold Breeze Blows Away. In this chapter, when Arnold Perlstein and his class, including Fiona Frizzle herself, go to the Walkerville City Hall for reciting his essay, "How I Can Help Make the World Great," he learns a lot about the Walkerville Town Square, but frets about forgetting his speech in front of the mayor of Walkerville.

Meanwhile, Mary Joy Larionova, a cute, blonde, green-eyed, 10-year-old former student of Walkerville Elementary School, who now serves as a spy of the KGB Order of the Unified Soviet Red Assault Command while secretly monitoring the class at the same time, becomes envious of Ms. Frizzle's class when Arnold recited his own essay, so she gets a diabolical plan where she never fails, Operation Ocherk, and once she succceeds, the USRAC would rule the worlds.

Meanwhile, Su Ji-Hoon falls into depression because he misses his family and his village so much, and made him sad, so Arnold felt sorry for him and decided to go to Erathia to calm down and hoped for the best, but he decided to run away to the forest instead.

Later, a Walkerville resident, Paul White, whistles the national anthem of the Unified Soviet Red Assault Command (as the attendants joined him), but then a huge riot has been ignited, then when they go inside the city hall, Yang Xiao Long and the Dark Lord Knight convince the kids and their parents to go on a worldwide tour to give an essay speech before giving them a group hug, until Unified Soviet Red Assault Command Conscripts came to arrest them for a mugshot, as ordered by Zayats, then a Chinese soldier named Cheng Wuqian arrests Ms. Frizzle and her class.

This chapter ends with the start of the Walkerville Holocaust, as ignited by Kaiser Werner Werman of the Werman Reich when they see all the school students and their parents (all dressed in Sunday's best clothing), including some Grand Alliance representatives, are being arrested by Coalition of the Red Star soldiers, including many other soldiers from the USRAC, the Beleninsk Pact and the New Central Powers.

There's also a scene where Courage, Muriel Bagge and Eustace Bagge, while escaping from Nowhere with his truck during the invasion, are listening on the radio about Arnold's speech while trying to avoid Werman Reich, New Central Powers, Beleninsk Pact and Coalition of the Red Star soldiers, armored vehicles and aircraft, including falling debris and explosions.

How I Can Help Make the World Great Audience Members

 * Abel Ruhle
 * Abby Hatcher
 * Alison DiLaurentis
 * Allie A. Abott
 * Amanda Jones
 * Ambera Addison
 * Amy (Total Drama)
 * Angela Smith
 * Anne Maria (Total Drama)
 * Aphrodite LaFonte
 * Ashley (Seventeen Again)
 * Ashley Dewitt
 * Barb (Molly of Denali)
 * Baroness Von Bon Bon
 * Bea Canary
 * Beebe Bluff
 * Betty Rizzo
 * Blaineley (Total Drama)
 * Bianca (That's So Raven)
 * Blair Waldorf
 * Blair Warner
 * Blake Belladonna
 * Bonnie Anderson
 * Bonnie Rockwaller
 * Brianna (A Cinderella Story)
 * Brit Crust
 * Brittany Boviak
 * Brooke McQueen
 * Brudine Maxwell
 * Cady Heron
 * Cardo Dalisay
 * Carla Cabrera
 * Cassandra (Sabrina's Secret Life)
 * Chanel Oberlin
 * Charlie Deery
 * Cher Horowitz
 * Cheryl Blossom
 * Chris Hargensen
 * Christy Masters
 * Cleo de Nile
 * Coco Connors
 * Cokie Mason
 * Connie D'Amico
 * Constantine Chase
 * Cordelia Chase
 * Courtney (Total Drama)
 * Courtney Gripling
 * Cynthia Payne
 * Dalia Royce
 * Diane Nguyen
 * Dora Marquez
 * Effy Stonem
 * Farrah Cutney
 * Fiona (A Cinderella Story)
 * Gabby (Blaze and the Monster Machines)
 * Gabriel Agreste
 * Gabriela (A Cinderella Story)
 * Gigi Hollingsworth
 * Goldie
 * Hanna Marin
 * Heather (Total Drama)
 * Heather Chandler
 * Heather Duke
 * Jake (Molly of Denali)
 * Jelly the Octopus
 * Jenny Humphrey
 * Jennifer Check
 * Jo (Total Drama)
 * Joan Holloway
 * Josee (Total Drama)
 * Katie Finch
 * Kaycee Tweevil
 * Kelly (Stoked)
 * Kelly Kapowski
 * Kenji Ookami
 * Kirstee Tweevil
 * LaCienega Boulevardez
 * Lauren "Lo" Ridgemount
 * Layla Mabray
 * Lexi Reed
 * Lisa Silver
 * London Tipton
 * Lucy Wyman
 * Luka (Molly of Denali)
 * Massie Block
 * Megan Parker
 * Melissa O'Mailey
 * Mertle Edmonds
 * Midge Marsh
 * Milli
 * Mindy (The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy)
 * Mindy Crenshaw
 * Mini McGuinness
 * Missy Meanie
 * Molly Mabray
 * Mr. Rowley
 * Nat Mabray
 * Natasha Cummings
 * Nina Harper
 * Oscar Marsh
 * Ozpin Holmes
 * Paige Logan
 * Paulina Sanchez
 * Penelope Lang
 * Penny Puffin
 * Peter Parker
 * Portia Gibbons
 * Princess Morbucks
 * Princess Nella
 * Quinn Fabray
 * Regina George
 * Rhian Bonifacio
 * Rhonda Lloyd
 * Ring-Ring (Pucca)
 * Ruby Ramirez
 * Sadie Albert
 * Sally Stageplay
 * Sandi Griffin
 * Santana Lopez
 * Saphira (Pearlie)
 * Scrooge McDuck
 * Serena van der Woodsen
 * Shelby Cummings
 * Shelby Forthright
 * Shimmer
 * Shine
 * Shira Brazille
 * Sierra McCool
 * Sissi Delmas
 * Skye (PAW Patrol)
 * Skye Hamilton
 * Speedy Eagle
 * Sugar (Total Drama)
 * Taylor (Total Drama)
 * Tess Tyler
 * Tiff Crust
 * Tina Fran
 * Tooey Ookami
 * Trini Mumford
 * Valerie Frizzle
 * Vera Malakas
 * Veronica Lodge
 * Walter Mabray
 * Weiss Schnee

How I Can Help Make the World Great Staff Members

 * Butterbean
 * SpongeBob SquarePants

Miscellaneous

 * Arnold Perlstein
 * Carlos Ramon
 * Beppi The Clown
 * Courage the Cowardly Dog
 * Cuphead
 * Dark Lord Knight
 * Death
 * Donald Trump
 * Dorothy Ann Rourke
 * Elder Kettle
 * Eustace Bagge
 * Ferdinand I of Bulgaria
 * Fiona Frizzle
 * Jaune Arc
 * Ivan Drago
 * Jyoti Kaur
 * Keesha Franklin
 * Liz
 * Lola Loud
 * Lucy Loud
 * Marina Werman
 * Miles Callisto
 * Mugman
 * Muriel Bagge
 * Nowhere Newsman
 * Patrick Star
 * Ralphie Tennelli
 * Sally Stageplay
 * Soda Popinski
 * Su Ji-Hoon
 * Tim Jamal
 * Trevor Philips
 * Vladimir Putin
 * Wanda Li
 * Yang Xiao Long
 * Yevgeniy Motovov

First Appearing Characters

 * Galapagos Gil (audience member)
 * James Bond (miscellaneous)
 * Mary Joy Larionova (miscellaneous)
 * Sarah Bellum (audience member)
 * Trinidad (Syphon Filter) (miscellaneous)
 * Vault-Tec Rep (miscellaneous)
 * William Charleston (miscellaneous)

Mentioned Characters

 * Janet Perlstein
 * Jean Bon
 * Katniss Everdeen
 * General Chén
 * Liam McLoud
 * Lynn Loud
 * Marina Werman
 * Muffy Crosswire
 * Ngo Dinh Diem
 * Nguyễn Văn Lém
 * Nicki Ray
 * Peeta Mellark
 * Phoebe Terese
 * Ruby Rose
 * Rue (The Hunger Games)
 * Thresh (The Hunger Games)
 * Valerie Frizzle
 * Walovlir Motovov
 * Xanthe Huynh

Transcript
THE next morning everyone met in front of the Paula Remington Memorial. "Arnold, you look so handsome," said Dorothy Ann. "Ready to meet the Mayor?" said Ms. Frizzle. "I guess," said Arnold.

He reached into his pocket to make sure the note cards were there. "Time for your reports," called Ms. Frizzle "Only one more hour until we're due at the Walkerville City Hall."

"Our first stop is the Walkerville Monument, the tallest building in Walkerville," explained Tim. "Eight hundred and ninety-eight steps to the top. Everyone ready?" said Jyoti. "Are you kidding?" Keesha said."I'm taking the elevator."

"This is the Walkerville Courthouse, where the Supreme Court of Walkerville makes the city's decisions," said Carlos. "I think we all know how important it is to obey the law," Ms. Frizzle said.

"The Walkerville Museum has great mummies," said Ralphie. "Follow me." "No, thanks," said Wanda. "I'll meet you at the gift shop."

The last stop was the Walkerville City Hall. "It's so big," said Arnold. "Not as big as Mary Joy's house," said Wanda.

"The Walkerville City Hall has sixty-six rooms," said D.A. "Every mayor except Donald Swanson has lived here. It has a barbershop, clinic, indoor pool, theater, gym and its own library."

"And the Mayor's office has fancy gold curtains just like the ones in our living room," said Arnold. "Excuse me," said the mayor's secretary, Stacey Morrison. "The mayor is arriving. Please follow me to the garden."

What Arnold sees is a bunch of the boys and the fathers dressed in sleek tuxedoes,business suits, sports coats and double-breasted suits, complete with pants, suspenders, dress shirts, ties, wristwatches, cummerbunds and vests, including dress shoes, Oxfords, loafers and brogue shoes for their footwear, and some wore snap brim hats, fedoras, homburg hats, bowler hats and top hats while all their hears are combed, and a bunch of the girls and the mothers dressed in business suits, skirted or wearing black pants, dresses and elegant gowns, complete with jewelry, nail polishes, makeup, purses and handbags, including Mary Jane shoes, ballet flats and high heels, and some wore ascot caps, straw hats, pillbox hats and tiaras while all their hairs are having different, fancier hairstyles. Some wear first communion dresses, prom dresses, pageant dresses, baptismal dresses, flower girl dresses, quinceañera dresses, qipaos, cocktail dresses, 18th century-styled suits, old-styled gowns, Victorian/Edwardian-era suits, service dress uniforms, sailor uniforms, princess gowns and prince uniforms.

Arnold gulped. It was almost time. He took out his note cards. Suddenly a strong wind blew through the garden. "Here comes the Mayor!" squealed Wanda. "My speech!" "gasped Arnold. "Relax," said Ms. Frizzle, "you'll be fine." The class's parents weren't so sure. They had a plan.

"And now... please stand for the national anthem of the Republic of Korea," said that beautiful woman, who appears to be a soprano. She would sing the national anthem of my country.

Soon, some blonde woman who is reading on the scroll just came in on the stage, and she just proclaimed loud and clear as that proclaimation-kind-of-thing kinda looks like in a fairytale story or something.

MEANWHILE IN NOWHERE -- AT THE SAME TIME

Meanwhile in Nowhere, Courage, Eustace and Muriel are still driving away to leave Nowhere for evacuation. They were listening to "The Man in Gauze," a cheerfully upbeat theme song of King Ramses from a Courage the Cowardly Dog episode, "King Ramses Curse." This time's, it's now having a remix to give it a modern feel.

Eustace, Muriel and Courage are afraid, and when the radio eventually stopped this song for an interrupting static, the same voice that some reporter guy who narrated the Courage the Cowardly Dog intro, just said on the radio, "We're very sorry for a little break in this program listeners, but we'll interrupt this for a special breaking news bulletin just about right now. As we were about to witness the How I Can Help Make the World speech by Arnold Perlstein, spoken here live in front of the Walkerville City Hall while you were all evacuating, please pay attention and listen to the following words on this transcript."

Courage, Muriel and Eustace are nervous. The newsman continued, "All regularly-scheduled programming has been disrupted due to this city's invasion, prepatorated by the following Coalition of the Red Star nations: China, Iran, North Korea, Russia, Pakistan, Cuba, Venezuela, Syria, Iraq, Belarus, Serbia, Algeria, the Confederate States of America, Argentina, the Empire of the Rising Sun, the Klingon Empire, the Romulan Star Empire, the Galactic Empire, the Confederacy of Independent Systems, the Tevinter Imperium, the Federation of the Americas, Panem, the Enclave, the Fire Nation, the Earth Empire, the Undead Alliance, Etheria, Yuktobania, Erusea, Balka, Bolivia, Myanmar, North Vietnam, the Nazi Union, the Redcoat Union, the Irken Empire, the Helghast Empire, the Combine Empire, the Chimera Empire, Tamagotchistan, the Forsworn Republic, the Locust Horde, Caesar's Legion, and the Combine Empire, including a few patches of troops from many other Coalition member states, and also including Beleninsk Pact nations: the Unified Soviet Red Assault Command, the Southern Song Dynasty, Carlite, Fauwan, Tavia, Avalon, Cephalopodistan, the Sugarlandic SSR, Cherokeeland, Majapahit, Shermania, Vietnamese Sugarland, Celestia, Asgardia, Heartland Upon Dreams, Loudsinia, the Cartoon Girl Clone Union, Yuktobania and the Red Line with even the allies of New Central Powers : Werman Reich, Austria-Hungary, the Ottoman Empire, and Bulgaria, and also contending on both sides is none other than South Vietnam, a former Grand Alliance member state that had recently betrayed them just recently, but on our side with the Nowhere Police Department are the following Grand Alliance member states: the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada, France, West Germany, South Spain, the rest of NATO forces, the United Nations peacekeepers, Ukraine, Taiwan, South Japan, the Philippines, Malaysia, Brunei, India, Saudi Arabia, Morocco, the United Arab Emirates, South Africa, Brazil, Mexico, Australia,New Zealand, South Korea, the United Federation of Planets, the Rebel Alliance, the Brotherhood of Steel, Vale, Atlas, Mistral, Vacuo, Osea, Pokemonia, the Air Nomads, the Water Tribe, the Earth Kingdom, the United Republic of Nations, Azeroth, Erathia, the Order Empire, the Imperium of Man, the Systems Alliance, the Unitied Nations Space Command, the Cyrodiilic Empire, Adamya, Hathoria, Lireo, Sapiro, the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros, Hyrule, the Coalition of Ordered Governments, and the New California Republic, including a few patches of troops from many other Alliance member states, all according to these sources. Now, do not forget to listen the following instructions: Please don't turn off the radio, because listening is mandatory. I repeat! DO NOT turn off the radio for an important speech until it's finished. It is officially compulsory to listen to this entire speech from its start to its end. It's very important. Do not turn it off. We'll also bring you some breaking news and some advisores, instructions, warnings and announcements for some further information and updates. For now; stay indoors. Do not panic. Do not despair. Stay indoors. Do not make any contact with enemy soldiers. Remember to be quiet upon listening to this speech. Communications have been partially severed due to this announcement, so keep either your radio, your TV, your cellphone, your laptop, and/or your computer on to listen and/or watch this speech, and don't use Internet until the coast is clear. We'll keep you updated later on after this. We shall inform you that if there is an all-clear signal that could be heard soon, you can return to your everyday activities, but for now, pay attention to the speech right now if you please as Nowhere's attack is now in progress. This has been an important announcement from the Grand Alliance Ministry of Information -- Nowhere Division. Please stand by for an important speech, we'll be back for some regularly-scheduled programming soon, and may God have mercy on the souls of the people of Nowhere." Beeps are followed.

Arnold had never seen so many important-looking people. "Good afternoon, Mrs. Mayor," he began. "When I think about what I can do to make the world great.. ah, ah, ah..." Arnold began to feel very warm. His knees began to shake. His mind went blank. "This is the worst day of my life," he thought.

Suddenly Ralphie giggled. Soon everyone, including me, else joined in. Even the Mayor was laughing. Arnold turned bright red. And when Arnold saw what they were laughing at, he laughed too.

Now Arnold felt much better. He recited his whole speech without forgetting a single word. "And in conclusion," he said, "we can all help the whole world great by helping others. "Good!" said Wanda. "Then help me down!"'

While the crowd applauded, Courage, after listening to this speech, screamed in fear, not knowing that the world might end soon with this speech. Well, this is some crazy-ass world we're living in now.

It seems Arnold finally memorized the speech without forgetting a single word! Which sounds pretty damn cool, isn't it? Well, that's cool alright. Ain't no turnin' back for this kind of ruckus, that's for sure.

...but what's this? It appears our favorite class is secretly being monitored! But by who? Oh, no! Not... I--I--I can't say it! This is a communist villain, who is a little, blonde, green-eyed girl so evil, so sinister, so horribly vile that, despite having a big house of her own while still working for the Unified Soviet Red Assault Command, even the utterance of her skills strikes fear into the hearts of men, even for my village! The only safe way to refer to this secret agent is to simply... show her cuteness, her beautiful looks and her cute-sounding name... Mary Joy Larionova.

"Damn it! Curses!" yelled a mysterious, female child-sounding voice, who is, like what I said, Mary Joy Larionova. I heard that from a far distance. She is using her binoculars. "It's not fair! Goddamned fair!"

After a long, round of applause, they said that there would be a waltz in his very honor during this afterparty of a speech tonight, but they never listened to what the MCs say. Instead, they listen to Paul White, the guy who is singing the national anthem of the USRAC.

The guests also did stand up as they join Paul White in singing the USRAC national anthem... even the MCs, the staff members, the waiters, the chefs, the cabinet members, registrars, limousine drivers, witnesses, caterers, planners, photographers, videographers, officiants, hair artists, makeup artists, transportation staff members, delivery staff members and florists, including all other Walkerville Elementary students, teachers and staff members, are joining in together to oppose Yang, the Dark Lord Knight, Ms. Frizzle, her class and me.

After taking down a few Soviet riot officers, all the guests and the staff members decided to rebel not only against the Soviet occupation of Walkerville, but also against Rubyists. You heard me right. Their lives are now on their own. Now Janet leads this revolution...

Now that Yuri Motovov's speech is over, and we're seeing the first gunshots heard from intense rioting, which reminded me of the Boston Massacre before the American Revolutionary War, a radio newscaster heard us an important announcement.

What I see is that Vladimir Makarov, an ultranationalist leader who will join the guests and staff members' side on defeat Soviet tyranny and the Rubyist scourage.

"Folks, uh... seems, we-we've got some news stand by..." I was nervous when he said those. "This speech may be over, but... we have reports of bombing runs nearby Walkerville and its neighborhooding towns. All evacuees are advised to run to Elder Kettle's house in Inkwell Isle One promptly. My God. Our soldiers were right. It's that war. War never changes."

Static came in. "Oh my God," Wanda said. "We -- we need to get to Elder Kettle's house. Now!" Blaring air raid signals are heard in all over Walkerville as the Dark Lord Knight said, "I've got Ms. Frizzle and her class covered. Let's go!"

Ms. Frizzle transformed her very own school bus from a fancy, yellow limousine into a Patria AMV, a Finnish/Croatian-jointly made APC vehicle. Now we're leaving!

"RESIDENTS AND VISITORS OF WALKERVILLE, PLEASE LEAVE THE WALKERVILLE CITY SQUARE AND EVACUATE TO ELDER KETTLE'S HOUSE IN INKWELL ISLE IMMEDIATELY." These were the words of a man speaking through his megaphone loud and clear, and also, in an authorizing voice tone.

Trivia

 * This chapter is nearly completely based on much of an Arthur book, "Arthur Meets the President," where Arthur Read recites the "How I Can Help Make America Great" speech in front of the President of the United States.
 * In this novel, it was Arnold Perlstein reciting the "How I Can Help Make the World Great" speech in front of the mayor of Walkerville.
 * The audience members of the How I Can Help Make the World Great speech are all dressed in formal clothes.
 * Courage, Eustace and Muriel are also seen in this chapter, sitting down inside Eustace's truck while listening on the radio.
 * In a scene where Mary Joy Larionova felt envious about Arnold, it also resembles a scene of The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie where Sheldon J. Plankton is envious about Eugene Krabs and the new Krusty Krab 2 so that he would be decided to perform Plan Z.
 * Also, her secret monitoring is a reference to an episode of the original 1998 version of The Powerpuff Girls, "Octi Evil," where HIM is secretly monitoring the Powerpuff Girls
 * The riot scene resembles that of a scene when in The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, during a Victory Tour in District 11, it was ignited when a man performed Rue's whistle and gestured on a District 12 salute.
 * In this instance, Paul White whistled the national anthem of the Unified Soviet Red Assault Command as well, but he never performed such a gesture anyway.
 * The Walkervillian Revolution is a reference to the failed Hungarian Revolution of 1956.
 * It happens after Ralphie Tennelli gives a "toast" to the audience members during an afterparty speech, which turns out to be the singing of the Soviet national anthem as their toast of defiance against Yang Xiao Long and her comrades.
 * The final scene of this chapter, which shows Ferdinand I of Bulgaria finishing his book, is a mixed reference of both the final scenes of SOCOM US Navy Seals: Combined Assault (where an unknown woman is doing her Notepad-like program and closing the folder) and the 2013 version of The Great Gatsby (where Nick Carraway returns to Jay Gatsby's mansion, now deserted, and finally, finishes his book).